God how is it possible to be so tired all the time-– in the morning, in the evening, before coffee, after coffee, ALL THE TIME. (I am on my period.) My brain has lost all capacity for creative thinking & I'm eating like I just got out of prison. Rain taps on the bedroom window like a lullaby & my eyes almost give up. I'm in no condition to be pithy, & I'm full of absolutely useless complaints about the things I need to do. There is no joy in my duties. Only intravenous exhaustion & a heavy, digressive cycle of trying to optimize my life inch by inch. But nothing's efficient about wanting to eat chocolate after brushing my teeth. Is it a side effect of feminism that I feel uncomfortable seeking rest while bleeding through my vagina? Is it a sick coping mechanism to blame every personal psychological flaw on a societal conspiracy? But when you find yourself thinking you're not even in that much pain compared to some other women, & then subsequently find yourself correcting your comparative acceptance of suffering, it sure feels like you're a lab rat steadily dying from the lack of certainty & comfort in her own thoughts. Goodnight...
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